About Jen
My Story. . .
~ From Homecoming Queen to Hot Mess to Happiness Coach ~
I was truly happy. I was the president of every organization from high school through college. I made friends with everyone, everywhere I met, with every single one of them telling me their life story, including their deepest darkest secrets that they had never shared with anyone. I started helping suicidal individuals at age 12, and didn't think twice about it. I genuinely loved helping others. I loved hearing their life story.
My best friends coined me "the interviewer," as I could talk to anyone and get even the most tight-lipped, guarded individuals to open up. They’d have me "screen" all of their potential dates, friends and co-workers. Reading a room and connecting with others was my super power. I didn't realize it at the time. I thought everyone felt what I did when meeting others. I thought perspective taking was a skill we were all born with & practiced effortlessly. As I have come to learn over time, that is not the case. The majority of people tend to look, prImarily or solely, through the lens of their own life. Ultimately creating distance between us. By contrast, I have always been witness to a kaleidoscope of perspectives, allowing me to perceive all human beings as the same at our core. Good people who want to love and be loved in return. Most of us, however, have had experiences that have gotten in the way of that core goal for all humans, based on previous insecurities and traumas.
My own personal journey went from high school Jen, as homecoming queen, "Most Likely to Succeed" & the happiest, most carefree, follow-your-soul, live-in-alignment kind of gal you'd ever come across, fast forward to college when everything changed. I suddenly wasn't "the best" anymore. I attended Binghamton University, where I'll never forget the presenter at orientation telling my mother that everyone at this university was president of their high school class, achieved high honor roll status & was involved in every club and sport. I was no longer “special” (or so I mistakenly thought). It was in that moment I knew that things were likely to change. I didn't know how drastically. My real downward spiral, however, began in graduate school, when I continued to feel that perhaps I didn't measure up. Consequently, I didn't live out loud anymore, as I had lived so freely prior to college, when everything came easily to me. My uber supportive parents, ever-present in the background with the message that I was #1 & could be, and do anything.
So I did just that. I went to college then graduate school. I secured an incredible job, as a school psychologist within one of the most prestigious Top 20 U.S. ranked schools. I also married a man with a secure job, who came from a loving, close-knit family. He was good at all those things that didn't come so easily to me. He checked off most boxes on my mental check-list for what someone ought to look for in a potential husband. I had two children- a boy & a girl. To any outside observer, my life looked perfect. I had accomplished all of my "big dream" goals by 35 years old. “So why wasn't I - of all people- who was happy as a clam BEFORE accomplishing all of my big hopes & dreams- not happy?“
I was merely a product of our well-intentioned, but highly misguided society, with it’s false beliefs about what leads to true joy & contentment. I was in the rat race to nowhere, climbing that ladder of “success” & collecting accolades along the way, but ultimately that trajectory inhibited me from any chance at creating a life filled with deep meaning & lasting happiness because rather than focusing on what was actually going on inside, with my mind, my heart, my soul, I looked outward. I began to wear a mask. I began the practice of mindfulness. I woke up. I took off my mask. I began to live again. I committed myself wholeheartedly to personal growth and transformation. I enrolled in every mindfulness and therapeutic training course. I attended conferences and retreats.I read and wrote books. I decided I didn't want to live a lie. I got divorced. It was life-altering, in amazing ways. I stopped worrying about being perfect and pleasing others. Every day I tried to do better than the previous day. I learned to be kind & gentle to myself. I learned to put myself, in the form of self-care, high on the priority list, so that I could recharge to have the energy to do what I love most, which is helping others. I vowed to never compromise myself again in the face of fear, conformity, habitual living, guilt or for any reason at all. I want to teach my clients all that I've learned professionally and personally over the last 20 years, as a school psychologist, life coach, mindfulness instructor, parent trainer, and divorce/dating coach.
Throughout my personal journey, I have observed nearly every person I’ve ever come across to hide under a mask. I create a space for them to finally feel safe enough to take it off- very often for the first time in their life. My goal, as your life coach, or life coach to someone you deeply care for- be it child, spouse, best friend, neighbor or anyone in your world- is to assist in mask removal for life renewal. It is through the process of shared authenticity, vulnerability, courage, compassion and commitment, that my clients are ultimately able to live a life beyond their wildest dreams.